🚽 When Potty Training Stalls: What to Do About Resistance

By Dr. Jo Ann Beltre | WanderCARE Pediatrics
Personalized Pediatric Care. Delivered.

You’ve done all the things—read the books, picked out the perfect potty, maybe even brought home a Bluey-themed seat and a fresh pack of stickers. But your toddler? Totally uninterested. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and you’re definitely not doing anything wrong.

Potty training resistance is something I hear about from parents all the time. It can feel frustrating, confusing, and let’s be honest… a little messy. But take a deep breath. With patience, good timing, and a few gentle strategies, your child will get there—and I’m here to help you through it.

🧠 What Is Potty Training Resistance?

Potty training resistance happens when a child who seems ready to potty train strongly refuses or avoids using the toilet. Common signs include:

• Withholding pee or poop

• Refusing to sit on the potty

• Requesting diapers even after some success

• Crying, tantrums, or hiding during toilet time

This resistance is usually not about being defiant—it’s about control, timing, fear, or readiness.

🚸 Why It Happens

• Starting early: Many kids aren’t emotionally ready until 2.5–3+ years old. I was shocked that my oldest was not ready until almost 3! When she was ready - it was a much-less frustrating process. I’m not ashamed to admit~ a bribe was involved! 🍭😂

• Fear of the potty: Toilets are loud, high, and unpredictable—especially for poop. My own son was terrified of flushing toilets and electric hand dryers for years!

• Control battles: Toddlers crave control. Potty training is one area where they can exercise it. This is age-appropriate behavior.

• Constipation: A painful poop can cause a child to start withholding—making the cycle worse. Many times we do not even realize this has happened.

✅ Pediatrician-Recommended Strategies

1. Pause and Reset

If it’s become a battle, it is helpful to take a break for 1–2 weeks! This relieves pressure, frustration, and reestablishes trust.

2. Watch for Readiness

Look for signs like:

• Dry diapers for 2+ hours

• Interest in the toilet

• Hiding to poop

• Asking to be changed

• Following simple instructions

3. Positive Reinforcement Only

Avoid shame or punishment. Use a calm, steady voice and:

• Praise for trying or sitting

• Small rewards (stickers, bubbles)

• Fun activities while seated (songs, books)

• If you are feeling frustrated, which is completely understandable, step away, breathe deep, and give yourself some compassion. This is hard!

4. Manage Constipation

If you notice hard stools, straining, or avoidance, reach out. We may recommend:

• More water and fiber

• Stool softeners

• Daily potty time after meals

• Constipation is one of the most common issues we help with as pediatricians- come see us!

5. Make It Routine

Consistency is key:

• Potty after meals, before bed

• Let your child flush or wipe

• Allow them to choose underwear or toilet books

🩺 When to Call Your Pediatrician

Reach out if:

• Your child is over age 4 and not trained

• There are hard stools

• Potty training is affecting family dynamics- don’t wait until you have reached the limit of your frustration! We can help!!!

At WanderCARE Pediatrics, we support families through every stage of childhood— even the frustrating ones! We offer in-home, in-office, and virtual consults for potty training challenges and child development concerns.

💬 Final Thoughts

Potty training is a process. Resistance is common and often temporary. With calm support and a little strategy, your child will get there.

Need help with potty training struggles?
Book a consultation with Dr. Jo today!

📍 Serving Seacoast NH & Northern MA
🌐 www.wandercarepediatrics.com
📧 doctorjo@wandercarenh.com
📲 603-288-1360

🧷 Sources:

• American Academy of Pediatrics

• HealthyChildren.org

• KidsHealth.org

• T. Berry Brazelton, MD